Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
