Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Randomize
