I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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