are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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