I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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