Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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