I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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