you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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