can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
