Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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