you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
