didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
there was a trapeze. enough said
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
