Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
