I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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