What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
