he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
