i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
