god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
