Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
