hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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