don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
