It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
