If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
