Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
