he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize