I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
