Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
