I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
