Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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