You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
