quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
