I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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