The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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