why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
