now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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