Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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