I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
