There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
