Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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