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Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
