i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
