I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Randomize
