There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
