Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
