she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
