my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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