I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Let's get the cat blown out
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
