Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I party with great urgency now.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
