the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
