im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
